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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
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| Jan 3 2008, 11:54 PM EST (current) | Ancel3 | 387 words added |
| Nov 17 2007, 12:15 PM EST | Ancel3 | 100 words added |
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Post your jokes as a comment or email me at larryancel@yahoo.com and I'll post it!
2 guys were in the woods hunting. One drops dead as a joke. The other guy paniks, and pulls out his cell phone and dialed 911. Then, he heard a voice on the other side that said "Hello, how may I help you?" The guy responds "ME AND MY FRIEND WERE HUNTING AND THEN MY FRIEND DROPPED DEAD!!!" Astounded, the voice says "Ok. First, lets make shure that he's dead." The guy said "OK." After a short pause, the voice hears a bang. The guy comes back and says "OK. Now what?"
Two identical(look-alike) twins were fighting, and then one says "YOU ARE SO UGLY!"
A peanut, sitting on a railroad track, not 1 word did he mutter. Then the train came flying by... CHOO-CHOO!! Peanut butter!!
What's the diffrence between a teacher and a train? Trains say "CHOO! CHOO!" and teachers say "Spit that gum out!!"!
Jimmy: What's the diffrence between cholate pudding and cow manure(manure means poop)? Bob: I don't know. What? Jimmy: I'm not comeing over to YOUR house for dinner anytime soon!
What do you get when you cross a parrot, and a grizzley bear? I don't know, but if it askes you for a craker, you'd better give it one!!!
(Befor I start this joke, I would like to say to any Spanish people that I mean no offence.)There were 2 Spanish people lost in the desert. They were about to dye of thirst and hunger, when all of a suddon one sticks his head up from the sand. (With a Spanish accent)"Do you smell that?" "Yes, I do!" They smelled bacon, and lots of it. They looked over the next sand dune and saw a tree with lots of bacon hanging from it: every kind you can think of! Grilled, fried, raw, spicey, pickled, every kind. One says "This must be a marodge(A marodge means an illusion that you see when you get too hot.)." The other Spanish guy says "No, it can't be a marodge. You can't smell a marodge." The guy jumped up and ran towards the tree, then the sound of rapid fire struck. BAM!!! The guy falled down. In a desprate attempt to warn his friend, he said(Rember that he's Spanish and speaks with a Spanish accent.) "It is not a bacon tree! It is a hambush!" NOTE: He ment to say "It's an ambush". An ambush is when somebody lures you in with something you like, then kills you. They do this all the time in the army.
A frog hops into a bank and askes for a loan. The employee's name is Patty Wack. Patty Wack said "OK, but what's your calidaral(A cadlidaral is when you take a loan from the bank, you have to give them something and if you don't pay it off, then they keep it. Ask your parents.)." The frog says "OK, I'll be right back" and he hops out. The next day he comes back in with a glass doll. He says "Here is the caladrial." Patty Wack wasn't shure about this, so she said "Lemmie go talk to the manager about this." She took the glass doll to the back where the manager was. She handed him the doll and said "A from wants a loan and wants to use this as calidral. What is it?" The manager took the doll and says "It's a nick nack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan!"
More to come!
P.S. If you find any of theese jokes offencive or unapropaite, please tell me and I will take them off.
2 guys were in the woods hunting. One drops dead as a joke. The other guy paniks, and pulls out his cell phone and dialed 911. Then, he heard a voice on the other side that said "Hello, how may I help you?" The guy responds "ME AND MY FRIEND WERE HUNTING AND THEN MY FRIEND DROPPED DEAD!!!" Astounded, the voice says "Ok. First, lets make shure that he's dead." The guy said "OK." After a short pause, the voice hears a bang. The guy comes back and says "OK. Now what?"
Two identical(look-alike) twins were fighting, and then one says "YOU ARE SO UGLY!"
A peanut, sitting on a railroad track, not 1 word did he mutter. Then the train came flying by... CHOO-CHOO!! Peanut butter!!
What's the diffrence between a teacher and a train? Trains say "CHOO! CHOO!" and teachers say "Spit that gum out!!"!
Jimmy: What's the diffrence between cholate pudding and cow manure(manure means poop)? Bob: I don't know. What? Jimmy: I'm not comeing over to YOUR house for dinner anytime soon!
What do you get when you cross a parrot, and a grizzley bear? I don't know, but if it askes you for a craker, you'd better give it one!!!
(Befor I start this joke, I would like to say to any Spanish people that I mean no offence.)There were 2 Spanish people lost in the desert. They were about to dye of thirst and hunger, when all of a suddon one sticks his head up from the sand. (With a Spanish accent)"Do you smell that?" "Yes, I do!" They smelled bacon, and lots of it. They looked over the next sand dune and saw a tree with lots of bacon hanging from it: every kind you can think of! Grilled, fried, raw, spicey, pickled, every kind. One says "This must be a marodge(A marodge means an illusion that you see when you get too hot.)." The other Spanish guy says "No, it can't be a marodge. You can't smell a marodge." The guy jumped up and ran towards the tree, then the sound of rapid fire struck. BAM!!! The guy falled down. In a desprate attempt to warn his friend, he said(Rember that he's Spanish and speaks with a Spanish accent.) "It is not a bacon tree! It is a hambush!" NOTE: He ment to say "It's an ambush". An ambush is when somebody lures you in with something you like, then kills you. They do this all the time in the army.
A frog hops into a bank and askes for a loan. The employee's name is Patty Wack. Patty Wack said "OK, but what's your calidaral(A cadlidaral is when you take a loan from the bank, you have to give them something and if you don't pay it off, then they keep it. Ask your parents.)." The frog says "OK, I'll be right back" and he hops out. The next day he comes back in with a glass doll. He says "Here is the caladrial." Patty Wack wasn't shure about this, so she said "Lemmie go talk to the manager about this." She took the glass doll to the back where the manager was. She handed him the doll and said "A from wants a loan and wants to use this as calidral. What is it?" The manager took the doll and says "It's a nick nack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan!"
More to come!
P.S. If you find any of theese jokes offencive or unapropaite, please tell me and I will take them off.
